"Well, t'be beat in the first suspension was a jolly old bummer I can tell you that! And I thought that with 3 detentions I was well on my way but Nevin's got the same amount as well! Really very sore about it but don't worry, I'll catch up. I'm not just a person who gets into trouble y'know, I've got to make trouble and not get caught sometimes too. A prank isn't successful unless you can scoot in time. All the same, I do feel a little resentful. Standards are raising themselves these days, getting a bad reputation's getting harder and harder! And it wasn't for lack of trying but it seems some Professors just don't get the hint. I expected at least 2 more detentions for the type of work I passed up in Herbology, History and Potions.

Of course, I also respect Nevin in a way. Getting a suspension ain't easy y'know. I'm surprised she got one for just singing really loudly in Amarus's class! I object to that, I nearly blew up the lab TWICE and all I got was one lousy detention.

However, I don't see Nevin as a rival. After all, I don't think she's out to get in trouble on purpose, it's just her. And it's that Potions git....er....Professor Amarus as well. Imagine getting the Headmaster to suspend because of loud singing! I'm going to try it sometime myself now."

So what actually did happen? Let me tell you. I have here, an exact dialogue of the exchange between the Headmaster and Potions Professor Theus Amarus. Note that this conversation occurred while in the private sanctuary of the headmaster’s office.

Schubert: Come in. What seem to the problem Theus?

Amarus: Evalla Nevin. I have given her a detention for her complete lack of respect in my class. Two classes in a row and I cannot tolerate her disruptions any longer. I want her removed from my class and she should be removed from this establishment entirely. If you would see fit, Rowan Whist is another disgrace to our kind as well. I would be preferring you to handle her detention. Or if need be I will refer it to her head of house. But I fear Madam Wulf's competency in this matter.

Schubert: Yes, I am aware of Evalla Nevin's disruptions as well as Rowan's. However, since Evalla is the one that is subject to an infraction, let's focus on her. What has she done in your class Theus?

Amarus: Oh I have a copy of all her infractions. Worry you not. She is a complete disruption. I make audio and visual copies. I need constant reassurance that these students are as inept as I believe them to be.

Schubert: I have seen enough. I believe this is serious enough for me to handle the consequences, Theus. I'm thinking a detention with me, a detention with you, and a detention with Madam Wulf. Plus, she will be suspended for a week. Upon coming back to school she will be put on lab probation. She will still be in your class. If she acts up again, feel free to kick her out. Oh, and I will gladly take 50 points from Hufflepuff. I will owl her this moment to make sure she is aware of her punishment. There is no need for you to. How does this sound to you Theus?

Amarus: This is beyond acceptable to me headmaster. Thank you very much. I will let you do what mush be done. I will be in my office. Good day, Sir.

Oh, yes, I have obtained a copy of these lab recordings. Big shock on why she was suspended AND lost Hufflepuff House 50 points!

This is her first Lab: (all information not pertinent has been omitted).

*Sitting at her desk chewing some gum, Evalla raises her eyebrows at the professor. Talking to another student she comments on the Professor's apparent confusion on this topic. The other girl ignored her and Evalla shrugged, returning to her cauldron. Taking her cauldron to the water spout she fills it until the sides say 2 gallons. Goes back to her desk and yawns obscenely loud.*

Oh, sorry. Long night.

*Igniting the flame beneath the cauldron she leans back and waits for it to boil. The potion hisses and she notices the boil. Picking up the tube that contains the erumpent fluid she dumps it in. Potion explodes (as it should).*

Wicked nice Prof! Good show!

*Her classmates look at her as if she is insane but she ignores them, oblivious. When the potion relaxes she drops in the 3 dried nettles. One after the other. Attains quite a satisfaction from the plopping effect.*

Damn, it's gotta boil again?! This blows.

*Pulls a new piece of gum from her bag. Wraps the old one and tosses it across the room into the trash can.*

And she scores! 10 points to Evalla!!

*As the potion hasn't begun to boil she starts chopping up her caterpillars. Pulling the brain out of each one she flings aside the dead carcass.*

One per minute. Aah, nice one professor. Bet you fooled a lot of people on that one! Damn, an hour now. I'm pretty sure that this lab isn't supposed to be this long.

*Figuring she has no choice she waits the hour. An hour spent doing absolutely nothing but taking a light snooze. Eyes still closed, an hour is up and she picks up the Belladonna, dropping it into the potion. Her classmates look at her as if she's nuts, but she doesn't see this. She picks up her ladle, and opens her eyes, yawning once more.*

Cah-ner--claw-wise.

*Sitting up straight she yawns again and stirs the potion for six minutes. Then goes the opposite way for seven minutes.*

More brains. I wonder if the professor is hinting at something. Like the loss of her brain.

*Wraps the shrivelfig with the frog brain and drops it in thepotion. As the brain disintegrates she looks up towards the front.*

PROFESSOR! I'M FINISHED!

Second Lab:

Kit, kit, where'd I put my kit.

*Dragging her cauldron to the sink, which she smartly sat next to this time, she filled it with a 1/4 gallon of water. Then using a pair of tongs she picked up a Puffer-fish eye and dropped it in the cauldron.*

15 minutes, gotcha.

*Looking at her fingernails, she occupied her time for fifteen minutes. Then bent down and flipped the switch to ignite the flame. Once more, with her tongs, she picked up a Puffer-Fish eye and dropped it in. As the potion slowly began to boil she watched. Finally bubbles were continuously popping and she set her watch for 30 minutes.

Watch Played This Music: Oh Sugar Pie Honey Bunch, you know that I love you ... Ohhhhh I can't help myself I love you and nobody else. In and out my life. You come and you goooo leaving just your picture behind and I kissed it a thousand times. When you snap your finger or wink your eye I come a running to you ...

*She had been enjoying herself listening to the music.*

It's off, it's off ...

*She took the cauldron off the flame and waited patiently for it to return to 70 degrees. Meanwhile she kept singing the song softly to her.*

Girl you call your name, oh it starts a flame, burnin’ in my heart, tearin’ me apart - No matter how I try MY LOVE I JUST CAN"T HIDE!!!!! SUGAR PIE HONEY BUNCH YOU KNOW THAT I'M WEAK FOR YOU ...

*She stopped making her potion.*

Oh, it only gets better. Through sources unnamed I have been able to procure a copy of each owl sent between Evalla, the Headmaster, Professor Amarus, and Professor A.N. Shadyra. These are placed in the order they were sent.

Date: August 23, 2003

Miss Evalla Nevin,

It has come to my attention from Professor Theus Amarus that you have been a disciplinary problem in her classroom. This will not be tolerated, therefore disciplinary action will take place. Professor Amarus has made audio, video, and written copies of your latest labs and handed them into me. I must say I am thoroughly disgusted. I would have expected better from a Hufflepuff.

As your punishment, you will be suspended from Hogwarts Academy of Magic for one week. You may return on Sunday, August 31. Upon returning to school, you will be placed on Lab Probation. The next time you screw up in Theus Amarus's class, you will be kicked out and receive a zero for the class, meaning you will have to repeat first year. You will also be serving three detentions. One with Professor Amarus, one with Madam Wulf, and one with myself. I am contacting Madam Wulf right after this message is sent to inform her of your wrongdoings. Any more punishment she sees fit is gladly welcome by myself and Professor Amarus. Fifty house points will be taken from Hufflepuff for your smart mouth and attitude towards Professor Amarus.

It has also come to my attention that your wardrobe is not acceptable to other students and staff members here at Hogwarts. I must say I agree. You will be required to wear civilized clothes at all times and during the school day wear your house robes. Failure to do so will result in another detention and more points taken from Hufflepuff. I will not tolerate this attitude in my school. You give a bad name to Hogwarts.

I will inform you of dates and times of your detentions as soon as they are scheduled.

Professor Schray Schubert

Headmaster

Date: August 23, 2003

Miss Nevin,

I have booked you to stay at the Leaky Cauldron from tomorrow morning to the morning of August 31. You will be under the watch of Tom, my good friend.

You will be owled your lessons and homework and they should be done upon arrival at Hogwarts. Failure to do so will result in another detention.

Professor Schray Schubert

Date: August 23, 2003

Dear Evalla,

Due to the problem in the Potions Class with Professor Amarus, I have no other choice but to give you your detention assignment. I want it emailed to me at [email protected] by tomorrow night or you will get even more severe consesquences.

1.) A 5 Paragraph Essay on what you did and how you will fix this problem.
2.) A Apology Letter to Professor Amarus
3.) A Apology Letter to All Hufflepuff's for losing House Points
Sincerly,

Professor Nick

Want to see the essay?

I find it rather difficult to write a five paragraph essay on what I did and how I will be able to rectify this problem. I am still unaware as to what the problem is. Perhaps in my first laboratory I was borderline disrespectful. Seeing as I have been duly provided with copy of the laboratories, I will continue on with this farce. Excuse me - with this character building punishment.

If it is appropriate, I will break my behavior down into the two distinct laboratory sessions. So, apparently I began my first lab by yawning. Which might I add, I immediately thereafter apologized. I fail to see what more I could do in the situation, beyond cut my own neck off and ensure no future mishaps of that sort. So I continued with my potion making and came to the point when the potion explodes. I found it rather thrilling and commented on it being so. Where did I err? Perhaps calling the professor “Prof” is disrespectful. If so, I can manage from this point on to use full titles when addressing those that are my senior.

I was chewing gum in the classroom. I saw nowhere in any of the school guidelines where it said that gum chewing was not allowed in a classroom. Granted, I threw the old piece into the trash can. I could have stuck it under the desk, but no, I put it in the trash where it belongs. Had you been there Professor you would have had to admit it was a brilliant shot. Cleared a good 15 feet and sank right in the middle. Swish! Alright, it was disrupting to the class.

Apparently there was an issue with the carcass being tossed aside. I merely was tossing it aside in my work area. The Professor misinterpreted the action. I can’t be held responsible for her assumption. Now I see here that I said, “One per minute. Aah, nice one professor. Bet you fooled a lot of people on that one!” At least I spoke to her properly, by saying Professor. And, I was commenting on her clear intellectuality, being more cunning than us. I would think she would find that a praising comment.

Now the lab was too long. Add up the time Professor, why should Professor Amarus be given special privileges to carry us over. I am sure that I am not the only student who has other obligations. But I waited the entire hour and yes, I fell asleep. You take that class and not fall asleep. My apologies. At least this time my yawn was at an appropriate degree. Yes, I screamed to the Professor to alert her to my finishing the potion. But I only did so to ensure she would hear me. Potions were exploding all over that laboratory and how was I to know that the moment I yelled would be a quiet one? Might I add, that my potion was perfectly concocted. Yes, it was.

So then came the second lab. One which I immediately regretted and removed myself from for my actions. It was my watch that played the first set of Sugar Pie Honey Bunch. I had forgotten to set it to silent. I forgot how to turn the music off and admittedly got caught up in it. Have you ever heard the muggle Clay Aikens, Professor? If you heard him, well, you are a man so the effect wouldn’t be the same. But he is a truly clever and gifted artist. He appeared on a muggle television show entitled “American Idol”. Personally, I believe he got hosed and should have won but you know Politics and how we have to even it out.

Anyhow, while awaiting the potion to cool down I started signing the song, quite softly so as not to disturb anyone. But this particular segment (as Clay sings it) is mesmerizing and I was completely swept away. It truly causes heart palpitations Professor. The last part is when he turns to the camera and just gives some soul music. I’m sorry for that, but if you knew it you would truly understand.

Before I end this lunacy, I wish to speak on my own behalf. I cannot, in right mind apologize to Professor Amarus. She treats her students with the utmost disrespect. Perhaps a little quoting of my own is in order.

She told one student that she felt pity for her parents. As clearly this girl was a pathetic failure and, oh how did she put it, "Clearly they have suffered enough under eleven years of your clear mental deficiency and stupidity". Not a moment goes by where a student isn’t being called an idiot or terms of such nature. Unless, of course, you are a Slytherin. Then you don’t even need to do the work and will still receive praise. So perhaps, I have learned to treat others as you expect to be treated.

Clearly this girl should have been expelled. She disgraced Hufflepuff, losing them 50 points. Though I must say, as a Slytherin, I do not mind this and invite Nevin to do it again.